it’s the soup of the day, every day.
(Source: saididarling, via angrycake)
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you know how in the original 1972 lorax movie the once-ler opened ice cream shops and stuff hear me out hear me out what if he opened a maid cafe
okay i’m done i’m gonna throw myself off a cliff from shame now good bye
…bueno <3
Minecraft. You’re some blocky person that punches trees made out of pixels and you kill dead people, spiders, and giant green penises that blow up
Dead Space. You’re an engineer, and your dead girlfriend is clingy and attacks you.
Shadow of the Colossus. You’re this little guy running around in this empty space looking for these giants to kill, just to revive your dead girlfriend lolz
sonic Riders: Hedgehogs and birds racing on flying skateboards.
Bulletstorm, you shoot people and do tricks by kicking and hitting them with a glowing stick
Resident Evil 4, You travel to the boondocks to find a whiny bitch only to end up infected as a hooker in red attempts to save your life.
You pay a dollar to listen to crap J-Pop from some fluorescent light lined speakers. Jump around like an idiot too. In public. Don’t forget deodorant. Then you put more money in.
Dragon Warrior Monsters aka Dragon Quest Monsters: Terry’s Wonderland. You’re a little kid (like 10 or something) with already grey hair who wears only blue clothes, and a turban or some weird big hat. Anyway your sister is kidnapped by a furby/moogle hybrid creature so you chase after her though the portal in your dresser drawer.Then the king of a giant tree that you land in tells you to that you have to win this monster fighting tournament so that you can wish on a star that you’ll see your sister again. to that end you have to go through these portals, walk through the woods and survive attacks by blue anteaters and string-bean people so that you can unlock the doors to other portal rooms until you’ve beaten enough monsters into being your friends that you can make them breed by locking them in the basement with a creepy old guy overnight, so that you get their stronger baby half-breed monster. you do this until the tournament / glorified cock fight, and then you fight in the tournament, except that you don’t, you just use the “fight” option and your monsters do whatever they want, and you hope that’s beating up the other monsters. I wont spoil the ending because it’s a pretty awesome twist on the plot so far.
Dungeons and dragons 4e: it’s like chess but with more math and arguing about the rules and it takes six hours per session, which must be spread over the course of months and years before the game ends.
katamari damacy: you roll around a ball because your dad said to.
skyrim: you do chores for people that usually involve getting attacked by bears, which you shout at. eventually you can buy a house, and maybe decorate it if you hate yourself. there’s about a billion hours of optional stuff where you can become a teacher, a criminal, etc. The best way to get good stuff in the game is to pay someone to teach you how to steal things, then steal back the money you used to pay them and repeat.
battleship: you take turns with someone saying letter-number combinations until someone’s battleship gets sunk.
katawa shoujo: you vicariously experience the emotional pain of a young man coping with a physical disability while he tries to build relationships. At one point you can choose for him to have sex with his girlfriend’s best friend, who is a lesbian and in love with your girlfriend, who knows about her feelings but does not reciprocate them at all. The best friend is very emotionally vulnerable and no matter what you choose to do you feel terrible about the situation.
poker: you pretend that you’re less lucky than you are and hope your opponents aren’t luckier than they look.
pokemon: you play a 10 year old child on a serial animal abuse spree until you cage all the animals and are declaired “the best”. There are undertones of parental neglect and child vigilantism.
street fighter: you hit all the buttons until you’ve knocked everyone else out.
checkers: you try to be the only one left with circles on the board.
Dwarf fortress: you try to lead a group of dwarves to prosperity, but they will all die. there is no win condition so you always lose.
burnout (any of the series): a driving game where you are encouraged to drive in the wrong lane and miss oncoming traffic by as little as possible. You crash a lot, or you lose, or both.
star control 3: Daktaklakpak! 5576 squared! 888, warning!
I think I’ll end on that note.
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Audio Overload V2.0 + the .gbs sound files from Dragon warrior monsters = all the background music I need for the rest of my life.
so I’ve been playing the great tree theme, or whatever it’s called. I have no idea if these actually have names? Regardless I’ve been playing the music you hear when walking around outside on great tree for the past three hours. Three glorious hours of being in my happy place. Seriously the music of this game is like a bad-thoughts shield against my evil subconscious.
I feel the need to seek out Koichi Sugiyama and just, something? I don’t know, shake his hand and tell him that the sounds he created define the feelings inside me when I listen, define my perception of the world, define my thoughts a purpose and guide me into a beautiful reality.